Transitions: On Writing Our Story
Just the other day an article on a magazine titled “Writing our own story” caught my attention. It interests me because I have been thinking of writing about my new transition to Oregon. Though, doubts come to my head about writing about it because of all struggles currently going on and need to be put on the forefront of our paths to always be critical about capitalism, imperialism, patriarchy, and white supremacy. Realizing how difficult it is for some us first generation college students, non-native English speakers, working-class, womxn identified to walk down the aisles of university departments and knowing we are the “only” brown, black, Muslim, indigenous, queer student of color there and the white gaze following us all of the time motivates me to share about my story. The more we write our stories, the more we build community.
This Fall 2018 I start a PHD in Geography at the University of Oregon. Leaving home, community, safe spaces, East Los Angeles, and South Central-Los Angeles has been overwhelming to transition to a location and spaces dominated by white people and men. During the transition I tried to do the best to meet with people who have supported and mentored me throughout this challenging process. Had small gatherings with comrades and family to be in their presence and say farewell until the next two-six years because might not see them as much anymore. During the last 8 years in Los Angeles (Tongva land) I have been part of circles building intentional relationships based on justice and intersectional politics. Definitely, this is what I will miss the most of it all, and to be honest I would not be where I am today if it was not for community and the intentional relationships I cherished.
This transition of course does not compare to my mothers’ or even other family’s transition to the United States from their motherland. This has been on my mind during my stay here in Oregon, but I think it’s important because my research interest is on Central-American political refugees, spatial justice, and border relations to migrants. Some days I start breathing heavily feeling anxious about this new space but thinking about mi tatara-abuela’s (great-great grandmother) migration journey on a mule from Comitan, Chiapas to Guatemala keeps me grounded. Many of my family has experienced moving away from their comfort zone and starting new. It’s definitely a challenge and it won’t be easy. Throughout the last months before moving to Oregon I think what kept my family and I motivated is the fact that only 0.4% of women of color actually have a PHD in the United States, and imagine Central American mujeres? I can definitely name three in my social circle-and they’re bad asses!
Academia is a bubble, been there, done that but just thinking of representation and who is writing our narratives and stories infuriates me that it’s not us. It’s been 500+ years of European colonization and most of what we have been taught and know it’s about THAT-whiteness and not about who we are and were. Of course, I’m not saying this information belongs to academia and needs to stay there but I feel a responsibility to my family and community to represent the Central American/Guatemalan-Mayan community, to speak and write about our past, present, and future and not another white woman speaking on behalf of us or filming our people. I’m tired of it.
What excites me now is to meet new folx, community, build with students and continue to dismantle systems of oppression. Best of luck to everyone also starting school this Fall, new journeys, and transitions. Apart from everything, nature is beautiful here-whenever you need to escape the big city come visit me! Thanks for reading.
– Carla Osorio Veliz
